Hello everyone!
It’s me Nica, I’m sorry for coming late. Because I was too lazy for a couple of days before. But today, I’m gonna share with you guys about what I’m done.
First of all, there’s no progress in my daily activities. I just lay on my bed all day long and take a bath in the afternoon. After that, I eat and watch a drama. You know, when we start to watch a drama then it’s gonna be hard to stop it. It’s like we’re curious about what will happen later. Yeahh...that’s what I feel guys and I hope people understand what I’m feeling. Even though, in some cases, I can't understand myself. It’s like why I have to cry when watching a drama. I wasn’t there and I also never feel the actor’s feeling but it just like real and when they get hurt, I feel hurt too. When they’re happy then I’m happy too. If I was them, I never think if I could be like them. I couldn’t have that such of an emotional thing to showing it to people. You know, I have a bad-tempered, so I can get angry easily, but in another case, I can smile all of sudden.
Well, you probably think if it’s crazy or I have some mental disorder but I don’t think so. Because it’s just kind of mood swing. I’m a super moody girl. People around me know that. Sometimes I can't control my emotions and my face condition, so when I’m angry or bad mood people will know that. When I’m happy or feeling bless then people will know it too. But the thing that people don’t know about me is when I’m sad. But it ain't including the face after crying, because when we cried, then our eyes will be red and swelled. But if I'm just feeling sad then no one knows that. I always try to hide my sad face. Because I don’t wanna share a negative vibe to people around me. I just hope that they will always get positive vibes and be happy to make a relation with me. I’m gonna be so sad if they think that I’m not funny enough to be their friends or another relation.
Let’s say that, we’re not alive to make people impressed with us. But the best human being is when they give benefits to people around them. And I wanna be like that. I don’t wanna live to impress people but I wanna live to help people. Even if it’s just a little or a big thing that I could help, as long as I can, then I will be.
I also always appreciate people who help me even it’s just a little or it’s a big thing too. You know, I can't forgive people easily. I also have so many people that I hated. But in these isolated days, I’m thinking about how if I die today and I still can't forgive them, am I be happy when I die? I don’t think if I could say yes. On another side, I do so many kinds of pray and I beg for forgiveness to Allah, and I hope that Allah will forgive me. No. I think Allah will forgive me.
Let’s just say, we’re human, we’re the perfect creation ever. But as a human, we’re never perfect. Sometimes we make the sins but sometimes we get praise from God too. I’m a moslem and in my religion, we believe that when we make a mistake then Allah will forgive us if we beg to Him. If Allah can forgive people that have been created by Him then why I can't forgive people that was the same as me.
What I mean is, we’re full of imperfections and sins. When I hate people, it was because they did something wrong to me. And it’s natural. While I’ve ever done the same. I’ve ever made a mistake too and I guess some people hate me out there. It was just the same. So, as a natural and imperfect people, I try to forgive everyone. And I try to not hate everyone. Because yeah, people will make mistakes as I did. And it’s natural. I just wanna remind this for myself every time I hate people.
I feel better when I open my social media for now because I don’t hate anyone and I just feel okay if I see everyone right now. I try to don’t care about what people gonna do or say about me. Even if they’re wrong or even when they’re disturbing my life. Then I’m just gonna said like, yeah, they’re human too, and they will make mistakes. Why they make mistakes? Maybe because they don’t know or they don’t understand or they have their own reason for it. I can't push people to always act well on me. I also can't push people to not making a mistake.
We are just human and It’s okay to be wrong. But as humans, we also have a responsibility to remind others if they make a mistake and we give the solution of how to fix it. Just be calm in your life and be patient. I know it’s not easy to be patient, I’m still struggling for this too. But I hope we can be better and do many reflections for ourselves when we stay at home.
Take a deep breath, see your future, and also see the next life after this life. Fighting!
Cheer,
Nica
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